Mad Dog????? No Dawg!

Posted: March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

Has anyone reading this ever attempted to walk into a bar with alchol concealed on their person somewhere?  How about ever tried to enter a bar when your so intoxicated you can’t stand up straight or even find your ID to show proof age? 

  Well i have to say that working as a bouncer for the past 5 years, this is something I see practically every weekend, and generally these are the situations where people ending up biting off more than they chew.  Or they get a case of beer muscles and try to unecessarily start an issue with a bouncer becuase they don’t understand why they’re denied entrance. 

  Considering we’re gearing for a a big midwestern holiday this coming weekend (St. Patty’s Day) I was expecting this past Saturday to be a pretty slow and relatively uneventful night.  For the most part it was, up until about 1:20, when a group of gentlemen attempted to enter the bar and I immediatly knew they would be an issue. They stood outside the front entrance for approximatly 20 minsutes prior to entering and the first one who came in had a backpack on.  This is a big no no in our establishment, so I immediatly told him to lose it, leave it up front, or leave.  He chose to leave….

  The second guy entered, and to put it bluntly, he was so fucked up he barely stand.  So upon making this obswervation very quickley, I started to bust his balls and question him.  “What do you need?” I asked.  To which he replied in a drunken slur that he was there to pick up his cousin Kevin who was working in the kitchen.  Strike one…no Kevin in the Kitchen or that even works there for that matter.  His friend with the backpack then came in and attempted to coax him to leave.  I could feel my blood pressure going up at this point. 

As we bantered back and forth about no Kevin being there I was looking him up and down to make sure he wasn’t armed.  As I did this I couldn’t happen but notice the 20 oz bottle of Mad Dog this upstanding fella had clumbsily stuffed in his front pocket.  At that point my tone became harder and I became a little more stern.  I think I used every “bouncerism” in the book to tell him to leave.  “Time to go”,  “Get the fuck out”  etc, but he wasn’t getting the point and continuing to shug off his friends. 

  At this point the guy tells me that the guys he had been chatting with (and I later observed him walking away with)  were attempting to rob him.  I called BS on that immediatly and at this point I began to (gently) push him towards the door.  It got to a point where I just besr hugged him from behind and walked him out the door.

  Even though he wore on my last nerve it certainly wasn’t the meanest or most explosive way I’ve ever tossed someone, but the robbery allegations and poorly concealed liquor still made it worth noting : ).  Anyway until next time guys.  I’m sure St. Patty’s Day and the 10 hr shift I’ll be working at the bar will bring some interesting stories ; )

Hit me up if you have questions or suggestions:

bouncersmanifesto@hotmail.com.

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